Post #4: Well, it's been over 5 years since I've been on here, but I figured I'd start again, if for no other reason, than a therapeutic outlet to keep my sanity. My life is very different since my last blog in November of 2013.
We've had many changes in our lives. I've been diagnosed with several chronic pain conditions, my son has moved back in, my Mom is now living with us as well, and my daughter, our baby, is on the verge of graduation and going on to college, God willing. I've been so overwhelmed, I really don't even know where to begin? My health is hit an miss, so when I do feel good, I usually end up overdoing it, which results in the next day or 2 on the couch. If I only had a magic wand to wave and make it all go away! I haven't worked in 2 years. I was working full time, then my Mom's health took a turn, and I went down to part time. The home health nurses were always calling me to come home and eventually, my employer laid me off because I "had a lot going on." After a year of me going down to her place multiple times a day, we decided to move her in at the end of 2018. That made things much easier for me, but financially, after 2 years of a one income household, it's getting pretty difficult. My son moved back in 2 years ago, so instead of 3, we now have a household of 5. We're in that whole "you make too much for any assistance, and not enough to live" place.
My husband went from school administration back to the classroom when I got ill. I required multiple surgeries over several years and needed him to be home more to help with running our daughter around. He's now ready to go back to administration, but has not had any luck with landing a job. He's been picking up some handyman jobs around the area to get some extra money to help with our finances. It's been stressful for everyone. Our son was also laid off at the beginning of 2019 so that's another issue in itself. Throw in all the medical bills, formal dances, sports, and other school activities, and I'm about tapped out.
I initially started this blog as a positive outlet, but so much has changed, it's been very difficult to stay positive at times. People always say to me "you don't look sick" or "it's just a blessing to wake up". I think if I hear that one more time I'm gonna blow a gasket! My family doesn't get it. They don't "see it" either, and still expect me to do all the things I normally would do. If I ask for help with chores or don't finish something, I usually get one of several responses: "I got my own stuff to do", "I hurt, too", "okay", then it's never done, or just complete silence and no action.
C'est la vie!
